A step-by-step guide to performing tantric massage
Tantric massage is a wonderful way to connect with your partner, but there’s more to it than simply performing an erotic massage.
With its deeply spiritual roots, tantra involves the balance and interweaving of energy between you and your partner, and practising tantric massage can therefore help to strengthen your bond and lead to a deeper understanding between you both.
With roots based in ancient therapy yet with a modern twist, tantric massage enables you to connect with your partner in a more spiritual and conscious way, making relaxation and tranquillity the ultimate destination,’ explains Nadia Deen, cofounder of The Intimology. It’s not one size fits all instead, it’s about being present in the moment, and accepting ourselves and each other without judgement. Engaging all your chakras and using the transference of energy, tantric massage can be a deeply satisfying experience for both parties.’
Sex and intimacy coach, Camilla Constance, agrees that being present and nonjudgemental is key to enable the receiver to drop into deep relaxation.
A tantric massage is a full-body massage that arouses sexual energy in the receiver and then consciously moves that energy around the body,’ she explains. It’s a beautiful way to experience the tantric approach to sex, where it is not about the goal or outcome, but about every moment of sensation and pleasure on the way. Because of the level of relaxation that the receiver is able to fall into, as sexual energy builds it isn’t forced out of the body in a brief climax, but is able to move around the body growing into incredible, full-bodied orgasms. When conscious breathing is added, the level of energy increases and the experience is further heightened.
Tantric massage benefits
As well as offering a safe space to explore each other without pressure or judgement, tantric massage has other powerful benefits.
Apart from finding a new and deeper intimacy with your partner(s), there are many other health benefits,’ reveals Deen. She says these include:
Improving your sexual stamina
Improving the quality of your orgasms
Helping to ease pain
Providing stress relief
A good step towards healing emotional blockages
Assisting in spiritual awakening
The healing power of tantra
One of the most beautiful benefits of tantric massage and tantric sex is its ability to help someone heal from and transcend past trauma.
Tantra is not about reproduction,’ says Constance. Instead, tantra offers a completely new (to us) concept of the purpose of sex. To our highly conditioned minds, we can barely imagine heterosexual sex without penetration, because what is the point of sex if this act does not take place? Tantra would answer always the point is pleasure. This blows sex wide open! The woman who has suffered vaginal trauma, through maybe a difficult birth or sexual assault; the man with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, or even a very small penis, is no longer sexually broken and in need of fixing with lubes, pills or therapy. They are beautiful souls with bodies that can experience pleasure in myriad ways.
Tantra teaches us that we do not need to penetrate a vagina with a penis to experience incredible sexual pleasure and mind-blowing orgasms. Tantra is the art of learning new routes to sexual pleasure, in order to nourish and sustain happy, healthy lives and relationships.’
Tantric massage preparation
Before the massage begins, spend a little time ensuring the massage environment is conducive to relaxation. It’s worth considering the following:
Your surroundings are just as important as the massage itself, so spend some time planning your environment,’ says Deen. Consider the temperature, look, sound and feel of the room.’